


The Medicine of Company

by Rose_Lattes



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Character Reflections, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Spoilers, post ep. 45
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-18 15:47:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16997922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_Lattes/pseuds/Rose_Lattes
Summary: After the Mighty Nein's run-in with the blue scaled beast, Jester felt less than okay. In a search for comfort, she finds Caleb battling his own guilt over the events of the night.Takes place immediately after EP. 45.





	The Medicine of Company

Once Jester returned to her room, she couldn’t smother the sobs that racked her soul. She leaned against the door, her sore body tensing as she hit the wood. She brought her hands up to her tear-smeared cheeks and attempted to get a grip. She cried and cried, her heart full of fear. Confusion weighed heavy under her ribs.

Every time she closed her eyes she saw the jaws of the blue dragon, teeth latching around her shield. She could smell his musty breath. Her clothes, burned and bloodied, suddenly felt too tight. She tugged at the strings of her cloak and let it drop to the floor with a thud. Her eyes snapped to the wardrobe next to the bed.

The old wardrobe was home to a few basic outfits that belonged to the crew before them. Jester aggressively unbuckled her equipment. She set her leather bag on the bed and undressed. As she removed her clothes, she found the ability to breathe again. A few coins fell from her pocket; they scattered across the floor with a crisp clatter. The tiefling flinched. She watched as the dragon lashed out, its tale swept coins across the floor, as its mouth opened to shoot a beam of lightning.

The noise of someone moving above deck brought her back to reality.

The young woman focused on the present. With shaking hands, she ripped the clothes off their hangers and put the pirate garb on. The billowing white shirt was too large, and the brown work pants required a belt, but all in all, Jester felt a tad better. She didn’t feel like the girl that almost died; she didn’t feel like the girl that was abandoned by her friends. She didn’t feel like herself.

She sat at the edge of her bed, her mind millions of miles away from her body. She knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep. She retrieved her journal from her bag. She wrote with scratchy penmanship, unable to control her tremoring fingers. She thanked the traveler for her life but found the reflection of the day too difficult to regurgitate onto paper.

She placed her pen in the crook of the book and closed it. Thoughts of self-doubt assaulted her. Why did they leave her? Did they see her as weak? She was left only for the Traveler to save. The candle at her bedside flickered its crimson flame, and the image of the fire elemental clouded her vision. Goosebumps danced across her skin, and she recalled the blinding pain of the burns she endured.

In a fit of exasperation, Jester stood and exited her room. As much as she wanted to retire, she didn’t expect to feel so trapped in her chambers. She walked up the stairs, passing the small kitchen area. She heard Beau and Caduceus conversing through the walls. The firbolg’s deep voice sent much-needed warmth through Jester. A small, pained smile lifted her lips, but it never reached her eyes. She climbed the stairs and exited through the hatch.

The nip of the night was a pleasant refreshment. She took a deep breath and looked up to the recently repaired sail. The wooden planks squeaked under her weight as she moved about the empty deck. She found herself leaning against the wood at the front of the ship. She stared out into the sea and let the gentle noise of the lapping waves distract her from the horror clawing at her mind.

The sound of footsteps caught her attention and Jester turned to find Caleb making his way to the main hatch. The wizard kept his head down, and against his better judgment he looked up at Jester. They locked eyes.

Jester smiled, they both knew the action was empty, but she did it anyway. Caleb nodded in return, but his body turned toward the hatch. His eyes were once again glued to the floor. She had never seen him so severely uncomfortable, and her heart deflated.

“Are you okay?” she asked, afraid that if the silence persisted, he would simply leave. Her voice, hoarse and dry, pierced the quiet night like a needle to cloth.

Caleb looked up; an unreadable expression masked his tired eyes. He still wore his filthy robes, but that didn’t surprise her.

“You are seriously going to ask me that?” he said, his voice low, guilt soaked his tone.

Jester straightened up; he sounded mad. Her emotions swelled, and the crushing trauma of the events in the chamber almost broke her. She blinked back the birth of tears.

Caleb rubbed his brow with his fingers. “You… I should be asking you that. Everyone should be asking you that.”

Jester’s brow twitched, and she lets out a shaky breath before putting on another smile. “I’m fine,” she said.

“Apparently not. You’re out here in the cold,” he said.

“But so are you,” Jester said.

Caleb pressed his lips together, and his facial expression relaxed a little. The shift in tension was enough to make Jester feel better. “It’s okay not to be fine. You know that right?” Caleb asked. He fully faced her.

Jester, usually wearing her cloak and many layers of fine fabrics, suddenly felt naked. A lump of self-doubt sat in her throat. She had to be okay. It was one of her main jobs in their little family. She provided them with happiness and laughter. She couldn’t break.

“I know that, Caleb,” she looked up to the many stars staring down at them. Her bottom lip quivered.

Caleb swallowed his fear, but his regret was evident in his voice. “I’m sorry,” he said.

Jester swiveled her head back to look at him. “What? What for?” She swore she could feel her heart thundering under her ribs.  

“I left you down there,” Caleb said. The chilly coast wind ruffled his hair and Jester felt her muscles, taught since the fight, relax.

Jester shook her head; her grimy hair danced around her shoulders. “You didn’t know I was there, Caleb,” she reassured him, just like she had been reassuring herself all night.

His eyes screwed up, and he shook his head. “I also left Nott. I left both of you down there with those beasts. You could have died.”

“But we didn’t,” Jester said pointedly, “but it was pretty close,” she added playfully. Caleb nodded, and his lips turned up into a near smile.

“It was pretty close wasn’t it?” he said, reflecting on the evening.

“We fought a dragon,” Jester said as if saying it out loud would make it believable.

“And if you believed Twiggy, you helped kill one,” he said,

“I mean, to be fair, I think she might have lied about that part,” Jester said with speculation.

“Yeah, she was a weird one.” Caleb mused. Their banter felt warm, a stark contrast to his previous brooding.

Jester’s face lit up in a playful smile, and for the first time that evening, it didn’t feel forced. “And that’s saying a lot coming from this group.” She chuckled.

Caleb stared at her, bewildered by her ability to bounce back after the day’s events. He wasn’t a fool, he knew that she was still hiding her feelings from him, but for now, he just felt better knowing that her brightness was back. She could tell him in her own time. He was never one to push people.

They stood in silence, simply watching the dark waves of the ocean rhythmically dance under the moon. Jester closed her eyes, relieved to find only the blackness of her lids. She took in the scent of the salty water.

Caleb straightened at her side, “I should return to my quarters,” he said, “it’s getting late.”

Jester nodded. “I should too.” A sudden bought of exhaustion hit her. Perhaps she could manage some shut-eye, after all. Caleb turned on his heel towards the hatch. “Caleb, wait,” Jester called out to him. Before he could turn around completely, Jester closed the distance between them and gave him a large hug.

Caleb went stiff. He awkwardly raised his hands. His fingers hovered over her back as he decided on what to do. His brain told him to pat her on the back like he normally did with sudden embraces, but his heart was oh so strong. He had no choice but to listen to it. He rested his hand along the small of her back. He could feel her skin’s other-worldly temperature through the thin white fabric.

“Thank you,” she said, almost breathless. She didn’t know she needed Caleb’s apology, but it helped put to rest the notion that they all intentionally left her to die.

Caleb’s brain shattered. He didn’t understand Jester, he never had. The woman was a box of mysteries and then some, but if in some way he helped her with their interaction, he was grateful.

Jester pulled away from the hug. She bid the human goodnight and returned to her quarters with dry eyes. She sat in her bunk and opened her journal, content with reflecting on the day’s events. She gave her journal a toothy smile. At the end of her entry, she drew a small Caleb under the stars.

 


End file.
